I used to be real close with this girl a year ago. She is my classmate and we spent every day together, knew everything about each other. and I never thought that our friendship would collapse. A year has passed since then. I still see her everyday at school , at lessons, but it ain't the same. After months of bawling my eyes out every night I thought I had got over her and the friendship, but guess what. I'm fucking depressed, I don't have anyone to talk to, I have the worst relationship with my parents, even though it never was perfect. I have lost everyone around me. I've become more self-conscious, more insecure, more anxious than I've ever been. my self-esteem has dropped low , real low. I spend every single day rotting in my room. Every school day has been suffocating, seeing her chill with others like all of this didn't affect her. But I guess she won. It's me that has been left with ''broken'' heart, internal issues, THE THOUGHTS of ending it, insecurities, depression, avoidant attachment, drained. And recently my mom just greeted me with the news that she won't be paying my tuition or anything connected with me. I just want it over honestly, don't even wanna reach 17 ATP.